


Winding Down

by Gorgeous Nerd (gorgeousnerd)



Series: dogdaysofsummer 2009 [9]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Community: dogdaysofsummer, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-08-12
Updated: 2009-08-12
Packaged: 2017-10-18 21:23:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/193444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gorgeousnerd/pseuds/Gorgeous%20Nerd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Most days, Remus felt a curious winding down.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Winding Down

**Author's Note:**

> For [dogdaysofsummer](http://dogdaysofsummer.livejournal.com) 2009, [prompt 9](http://community.livejournal.com/dogdaysofsummer/267807.html). Also available on [its original community post](http://community.livejournal.com/dogdaysofsummer/283494.html), [my LJ fic community](http://community.livejournal.com/chomalfoyfics/19158.html), and [DW](http://firmament.dreamwidth.org/12169.html).

_I haven't forgotten -- how I used to remember my own name-- and yours, oh,_ yes _! There were answers everywhere you_ looked _. There was no question about it-- people knew who we were and if they didn't they asked and I told them._

Most days, Remus felt a curious winding down.

His time with the werewolves was done, and his job, unofficially, became keeping Sirius company. It was something he would have done of his own accord, but Dumbledore took him aside and shared his concerns about Sirius's well-being.

Remus remembered one sentence in particular: _Grimmauld Place is a Dementor Sirius cannot escape_.

He took guard shifts, stepping in for the likes of Arthur Weasley after his injury and Tonks when she had work, but they were few and far between. Someone needed to stay behind, they said, to decide if messages needed immediate action.

And so, he became the third inmate of Grimmauld Place, along with an escapee from Azkaban and a fugitive Hippogriff.

Sirius warmed to the company immediately. Remus saw in him the spark that he'd been fueled by in school, only instead of being enriched and directed, it was an ember surrounded by death and desolation. He decided before long that Sirius wouldn't be diverted forever, and every day became a countdown to the unknown moment when Sirius would burn out.

Remus did everything he knew to distract him. He cooked and taught Sirius the recipes he used. He went to Diagon Alley and brought back candies and newspapers. He played pranks, and endured pranks, and did his best to laugh.

The lovemaking was the most surprising, and the most effective.

Remus's sexual history up to that point had consisted of a couple kisses from girls around Christmastime at Hogwarts, so the casual touches and whispered words from Sirius had seemed nothing more. When Sirius finally said straight out what he wanted, and Remus complied, it was over within moments and satisfying to neither. Even more, Remus found himself wanting to pack his things and leave.

Sirius remained undeterred, and so they tried again. And again. It became less awkward, then nearly enjoyable, and finally quite lovely.

The winding down continued, but Remus ignored it. Until, quite suddenly, the end came.

After a gentle session – Sirius usually shagged like the hounds of hell were nipping at his heels, but he had mellowed some – he pulled out a photo of the Order from the last war. Remus counted the heads, then counted the heads that belonged to the deceased, and found the number of survivors distressingly low. He recounted when he realized he'd grouped both himself and Sirius amongst the dead.

Sirius held the photo between his first and middle finger, and spoke of the times when he was in the fray, how he counted almost every member friend. How he'd trusted, and been trusted in return.

 _When James and Lily stopped trusting me_ , he said, then trailed off and didn't speak again.

Sirius drifted off to sleep in Remus's arms and looked eleven years old. As the night passed, the winding slowed, then stopped completely.

The next day, Harry Potter and his friends broke into the Ministry of Magic.

Remus returned to Grimmauld Place after; he didn't know where else to go. He sat on his bed, picked up the photo Sirius left on the bedside table, and let himself feel the void that he hadn't realized had been filled for a short time.


End file.
